The Lad and I went to his friend's house one night. We had a really good time.
For the first half of the night we interacted like good friends, talking and mucking around with each other and the rest of the group. As the night wore on, we went inside. He'd had a little bit to drink. We canoodled on the couch. He told me again and again that I was beautiful, that I was perfect, that this was perfect and exactly what he wanted right now.
I wasn't quite ready for that. I couldn't say I loved him back, it was much too soon for that. But he was right, the "relationship" as a whole was a very good one.
My mum picked me up at one in the morning, not impressed as usual. The Lad kissed me before we opened the front door for me to meet my mum in the car. "No, forget what I said before... this is perfect," he said.
I hadn't been able to talk to him in person or on the phone for a few days. I might have asked him if he wanted to do something, but I hadn't done nearly enough homework. I went on MSN for about five minutes, trying to find out if anybody could help me with some homework I was having trouble with. The Lad was online, but I knew he didn't do History and I was in a hurry so I didn't initiate a conversation. After a couple of minutes, he did. We talked about nothing for a few minutes, then:
Lad: i'm sorry. but i need to be honest with you about somthing. last night i caught up with my ex and we got drunk and ended up kissing.
Lad: i feel awful...
Lad: what does mneh mean?
Girl: this is why i love msn.
Girl: it gives people like you an excuse to be completely gutless.
Lad: you cant make me feel more ashamed than i already am...
Lad: would you prefer me to call you?
Girl: hey, there's a bright idea!
Lad: you home?
Girl: that i am.
Girl has changed his/her status to Busy
Girl has changed his/her status to Online
Lad has been blocked
The phone call lasted all of two minutes. Long enough for me to ask that he tell me exactly what happened. He was drunk. He said that they kissed. I said that saying they 'kissed' was very vague. I waited while he made awkward sighing noises. Clearly he didn't like what he was going to have to say.
"It was more than kissing."
"How much more?"
Again he struggled to have the courage to tell me exactly what happened.
I could see what was coming. "Tell me," I said firmly.
"Rolling around naked."
"I don't really want to talk to you right now. In fact... I don't think I want to talk to you for some time."
"You're alive today
Small hands of a woman
With an animal heart"
I fell from the sky or came from the sea
i like the subconscious, watching the sun come up, sleeping until noon, shadow puppetry and patterns on butterflies. i'm the happiest when im creating/painting/in my cocoon. i'm sad when i'm not in motion.